lipstickstaines

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 20:52:43 GMT

i trust my dad just as much as he trust me.

we have a great relationship right?
it works both ways.

goddamn.

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 02:42:49 GMT

i know i fucked up. i know that. its my fault. i brought this on myself. but how can you go from "caring" about someone to hating them? i dont understand. he knows im sorry. but yet he doesnt care. eaither he really never cared, or he doesnt hate me.. im unfortuanly thinking its he never cared. i guess this is what happends when u fuck up. once someone tells you something about someone you start to look for theose qualities in that person. and he found one of my flaws. and hates me for it. i pretty much hate myself right now. but i refuse to show it. i refuse.

coheed and cambria

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 19:02:13 GMT

mhmmm at school..

gota love sneakyproxy lol

i have done nothing all day but play on the computer.. sounds like an accomplishment to me.

:)

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 03:15:52 GMT

i know what i want. but i cant have it.

yeah he`s a winner
he`s a goddamn sinner.

hes moving on while im still stuck on him.

vodkade.

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 02:35:46 GMT

i have mono.

it pretty much sucks ass

i havent been to school in a week

finally im stopping my childish antics with the boy.

hopefully things can just be normal and us be friends.. but im not sure if we ever were normal.. ??

im ready for a change in life.

everyone is happy it seems but me, and dont get me wrong im not gona sit here and cry about it because i know that my unhappiness is because of some choices i have made. i just need to get my head out of my ass and realize whats best for me in the long run and not just whats going to make me happy right now.

school sucks.. although i havnt been in forever.. i have finals and i dont even have materials to study with .. GOOOOOOOOD.

but, i have my friends i love you all soo much and you def. know who you are.

and as for stupid cuntfucks. jake farmer.. who cant keep their mouths shut about ANYTHING. you probly should never talk to me again. mhmm k?thanks.

OH YEA
Raptor3658 (3:46:01 PM): god you fucking rock <---- this boy.. is pretty awesome.

love.

just pretend it never happend

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 23:44:09 GMT

i have finally realized what things are important in life.

and boys well A boy isnt.

i would much rather be friends with you then have secrets that have to be kept.

love.

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 04:28:05 GMT

i love when people try and make me look like a liar when they are the ones that have lied their asses off.

ISSAH FUCKING RUMSEY

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 19:20:45 GMT

I FUCKiNG HATE U !
your just like every other boy.

u think with your penis and not your head dumbshit!

GO CHOKE.
k?thanks.

GAHHHHH

my heart in a million pieces

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 23:10:42 GMT

what do we expect?
we are young 16, 17 years old..

we give out hearts to someone, only anticipating them breaking it..

doesnt make sense..

and then when it finally happens, we never thought it actually would.

im confused.
help

<3

im sick of pretending..

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 00:32:49 GMT

today was icky.. went out last nite and didnt get home till about 5 this morning.. so kinda hung over and then the weather is basically gross.. its all rainy and gloomy it sux. i didnt even feel like going out tonite, blah. i have this wierd depressed feeling going on and i dont know why. a lot of things have happend over the past few days and the all revolve around one person. its hard to be in love with someone for so long but you know that friends is about as far as you can ever get for more than one reason. its a sticky situation but i put myself in it and i knew ahead of time what was going on... so thats just stupidity on my part. but this person had a role in it also.. he could and should have stopped things from going where they did, but its over.. and ive come to the conclusion that nothing ever happend. and everything will be how it use to be. but im smarter then that, and lieing to myself is hard espceially when i know the truth.

i cant pretend that your only my friend,
when your holding my body tight.<3

i dont know where to go in life right now. im confused.
i need help. someone, anyone?
i HATE these familiar feelings of lust, heartbreak, and lonliness
they all remind me to much of past relationships and how i hurt then.

all i can do now is just give my life to the only person who matters and let him decide how my life shall turn out.

<3
any wise words would be awesome.
[{{sydney}}]

like bringing a knife to a gun fight

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 14:01:15 GMT

hey im at my gmas. we went shopping yesterday in indiana and spent way to much money. the drive was pretty boring so i called mikey and talked to him for pretty much the whole trip back. my gma and i made jokes about his accent and told him we were gona find out where he was from! lol i frikken heart you little mike tayloe. so basically i didnt get to do anything interesting on my saturday nite. i was gona hang out with stephen judah but she wouldnt let me go.. got kinda frustrated but then i was like she just spend a ton of money at least i should stay with her.. so i did. we watched the notebook (Cryed) frikken awesome movie. and then i got on the puter.. it was like 2 and no one was on so i went to bed. had a dream about a sertain someone and it was very interesting.. made me happy but sad at the same time knowing it would not become a reality. now im just sitting here tired because i woke up at like 9. i have to go see my cousin who i havnt seen in 5 years today. fun? i think not. more like awkward. but it happens..welp not much more to type so ttyl!

<3

OH I GOT A COACH BAG WAHOO IT WAS ONLY LIKE 300 FRIKKEN DOLLARS.. GAH. im soo spolied. lol

[sydney]

like omgzz !!

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 19:25:28 GMT

heyy today was pretty cool.. went to school totaly didnt feel like being there so i called my dad.. he came and got me took me to my gmas and then we went shopping. got a bunch of new clothes and new shoes wahooo... now im just sittin here bored.. i just read this guys live who i use to like and i now realize hes so not worth it.. lol..im mean. oh well it happens. stayed the nite at courtneys house saturday nite after the east show. (which was AMAZING as usual) shes my lover.. shes awesome like that.. fuel is this weekend and im soo stoked.. everyone should come and watch PROVEN GUILTY play.. yea aweomse band their going to dominate. i have to go to the doctor at 4:10 because somethings wrong with me.. i dotn know what but were gona find out! YAY. lol.. and then im going home to clean my room because i got a 2 hour lecture last nite about how i need to change my ways.. because my attitude "sucks" what im a teenager he should get over it.. welp im bored and not much more to write soo i will write later taters..

<3
sydney

FUEL SEPTEMBER 16TH B THERE... PROVEN GUILTY WILL DOMINATE

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 17:11:11 GMT

well basically i got burned. one of my best friends had sex with the guy i like, and she knew what she was doing. things sometimes arnt always what they seem but i completley understand this one. she asked me 2 times if she could that nite and i begged her not to. later while we were all laying there she fucked him with me laying beside him. really shitty if you ask me. i love her to death but this is something that i cant and wont forget. i have tried talking to her about it 3 times now and when i do she gets the "cocky im always right and i didnt do anything wrong" attitude that i cant deal with. i have talked about this situation with 2 really good freinds and i have come to the conclusion that she knew what she was doing and she fucked up. she told me that she didnt regret doing it at all but that she didnt think bout how it would make me feel. well, considering i told her 2 times no. i think she got the point but only heard what she wanted to hear. this is a pretty fucked up situation. and im not even upset at the fact that i didnt do anything with him.. because i did.. but im upset at the fact that my best friend could screw me over like that and not care. or pretend to care.( i no when you are pretending).. things in life right now are pretty wierd. i cant just forget this so right now.. her and i are not friends.. im trying to surround myself with awesome people who i know are my freinds and care about me and how i feel.. not just people who are self centered and in complete denial about it. Other then all that bullshit. im at home. i totaly didnt feel like going to school today so i woke up at 6 and put on the "daddy i dont feel well" act. needless to say it worked. i mean i feel bad lying but me at school right now would have been soo pointless in so tired and like drained from everything. this weekend did have some awesome times though.. i totally met courtney (my boo) and she fucking rocks! lol we stayed over at her house with JENY boys.. caugh the one i like caugh. and we hade some interesting times in the shower and bathtub.. lol and then round 2 in the computer room. well no details needed... haha..but im not to sure on what else to say.. def just needed somewhere to vent all my feelings.. so here it is! lol.. im outty bye.

<3333
[sydney]

OH AND YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS ABOUT.. AND IF ITS YOU DONT COMMENT ON THIS. ILL JUST ERASE IT. K?THANKS. BYE.

your lipstick his colar dont bother angel i no exactly what goes on...

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 17:02:20 GMT

well havnt updated revently so here i am. monday nite i went to the movies with corey...lol we saw March of THe penguins which is a complete waste of time and his money.. lol but oh well it was some good times. btw that kid is one confusing mother trucker...but newho then tuesday i went shopping with the gma for school again and it was hell... she wants me to but like ugly clothes..and thats not how i roll. u no? ha. well anyways we def start school in like a week. and im kinda excited because Kristin is coming back this year not her junior year and im stoked. every weekend were guna b crunk g`s lol. but im sad summers ending because i wont get to see nadia like at all. considering she lives like 45 min from me and her mom wont drive her here my dad gets all pissy because we always have to go get her and junk..its gay to the 4th power. but oh wel..im mucho pissed because i have been going to bed at like 2 and waking up at like 12. and thats not guna fly when school starts lol...so im prolly guna have to start going to bed earlier and waking up earlier which is gay but newhooo..i had to delete my photobucket cuz dad found em and yea...not good. so dont ask bout it lol its gone. and will stay that way. but heres my schedule incase u have classes with me...

1 Humanaties crisp
2 Biology 1 Riordan
3 World Civ. Springer
4 Geometry Whitford

if u have classes with me tell me.....

well i love u muchoo
[sydneyy]

boys are mean hit them with sticks...and then laugh.

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 16:58:31 GMT

boys. they suck so bad. ok i like this guy who thinks were just friends and at one point he knew i liked him. we talk a lot but he always hurts me by telling me about other girls he likes and shit like that. it sux because he strait up ditced me last nite for some other girl. like his exact words were "i cant do anything because im hanging out with _______ " and it sucked. now i have to sit here and lie to him telling him i dont like him and we should just be friends so he will act normal around me and its gay. like im so sick of gettin hurt by petty boy shit. anyways. i just got home i havnt been home in like 5 days and its wierd to be here. im already bored lol. this weekend should be hella fun. friday im staying with nadia and were going to Jillian`s for the As i Lay Dying/ Killswitch show with jonny and jonathan. (can i kiss it?) lmao. but thats gona b fun because i have never met jonny or jonathan but they both seem like pretty cool people. then saturday my dads picking us up and were jettin to my house then to twice told for a kick ass show.. kinsey, the rodeo, ... its gona be badass. Cory and David are gona do a duel drum solo and its gona be fucking sick. im stoked. summer is def. almost over and its making me sad. we start school on the 16th and im not excited at all. but i am excited to be out of freshman academy omg that sucked so bad. oh well shit happens. i talked to philip last nite and hes such a sweet guy. to bad he has a umm..nvm. yea. lol. nadia talked to jonny last nite one the phone since he didnt call her and come up here yesterday and things didnt exactly turn out how she wanted them to, but i think shes gona b ok. but i def. no how she feels. well not much more to type in here..so buhbies.
[sydneyy]

you only hold me up like this because you dont know who i really am....

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 22:40:02 GMT

helloo.. well im a kristins house and last nite was so effin fun. we drank like a shit load and got shitfaced lol. then david came over and he was shitty to ..no one remembers anything. so we woke up at like 12 and then went up to the pool. then we came back and her mommy called and asked up to make diner so we did. we acted like desperate house wifes and slaved over the hot stove and then bitched about it when we had to clean it all up. but now were like scrapping around for money so we can get her mom to go buy us some alcohol. saweeet.. nadia had registeration today at school and it makes me think about how school is like comming up sooo fast. like 10 days. its very sad. this summer has been so fun and like going to shows and all that shit has been great. plus like i wont be able to see a lot of people that i hang out with because they go to dif. schools. like nodz and kristin. it sux like a vacume cleaner. but oh well schools kinda cool.. not really. i lie. hopefully tonite we can get sum alcohol and have more ppl come over like last nite. it was great. this one kid josh came over and he drank a little bit and then all the sudden he was drunk as shit. lol it was so funny he went from taking like 3 drinks to being shitty in like 10 min. then his parents came and picked him up so i hope they didnt notice. steven and dallas were going to come over to krisins house tonite but they cant find a ride.. like everyone else. but oh well. tomorrow kristins aunt is picking us up and were going to stay at her house which is in oldham county so its all good. ppl can actually get rides there lol. but kristin wants the puter soo thanks for readin all mah shitt.i love you.

[syyddneyyyyy] <3

my friends cant breath underwater i guess they have weak lungs....

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 20:28:34 GMT

ha well woke up this morning and had a IM from nathan it was like "haha lol look at this" and then gave me this link to click. well i cliked it and turns out it was a virus. not cool. so i go upstarit and come back 30 min later and i have like 345908 im`s on my sn from where the virus sent itself to everyone online on my buddy list. i couldnt get it to stop so i had to get offline and call my dad. he bitched me out because i fucked up the computer and then told me how to fix it. lol . but now its fixed (kinda) and im able to use the puter. nodz is comming back over tomorrow because were goin to maddies house with kristin for this party where proven guilty, the rodeo, and versatility are all playing for free so thats rad. hopefully nodz can get a hold of ___ so he can come. doubt it. school fucking starts in 20 days and im pissed this summer has been so much fun and its almost over which really pisses me off. but in 6 days im goin to the as i lay dying, killswitch engage show and im stoked nodz in comming and i think jonny and jonathan but who knows. were need to go get tickets first, mite help. but im bout to go to the pool so i love you all!!

[syddddney A.K.A. BBB(thanks fat)]

im a conformist.

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 01:45:51 GMT

i conformed and made a live journal life everyone else has. oh well no i can type my life in here like nadia. not much happend today. nodz and i went to the mall with one of her friends and picked up some new free junk. she missed jonny like crazy and i kinda no how she feels i havnt met this one person but when i talk to him he makes me feel like one of the most special people in the world. but i have a feeling im just another one of his girl toys. saturday nadia is comming back over and then were going to stevens house and then to this house party with steven and kristin. i want ____ to come with us because he would be able to stay the nite at kristins house and her mom wont be home and said she didnt care if he stayed. which is totally rad. but im sure he wont. Jonny comes home saturday and nadia is flippin out she likes him a lot and its so cute. i discovered my new favorite song. emanuel make tonite. its the fucking best song. but i guess im gona go try to figure out this whole Lj thing.
[syddnnneyy]